TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
Here starts Frostalgia’s list of my favourite things from this year. Not all of my absolute most favourite things from ‘09 are on this list, but this is what I have access to and/or can remember.
Now, to this entry: I like things that are dubbed over and made funnier.
Also, I love Creed.
(Is he joking?! Is he serious?! We’ll never know!)
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
8) Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No
First saw this on Dr. Heise’s Calamitous Cavalcade of Pictures of Taints (or, at least, I think that’s what he calls it). All I have to say is, “fuck, I wish I had a shred of artistry!”
Previous Entries:
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
7) Them Crooked Vultures
Comprised of Queens of the Stone Age frontman Josh Homme, Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones, and Foo Fighters musical-everyman Dave Grohl. I don’t care for many supergroups, but these guys did it right. Their tracks are technically complex, yet fun to jam to.
Previous Entries:
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
6) Napkin Holder’s Daft Punk Piano Medley
Earlier in the year, Sarah Stead and I had a conversation about what kind of music we want played at our respective funerals. I got things rolling by telling her that I didn’t want sad music played at mine — rather, I wanted something like Daft Punk played on the piano or one of those large cathedral organs. Sarah initially thought the idea was stupid and would be an insult to Daft Punk’s library of music as we know it. She even said she wouldn’t attend my funeral as a result. Then I played her this.
Safe to say when my funeral comes around, Sarah Stead will click “attending”.
Previous Entries:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
5) Jay-Z(ed) in Edmonton, October 13
Speaking of Sarah Stead, her and I, along with Lucas Wagner and Sean Lennie, threw up our Roc hands at Rexall Place the day before my birthday. Seeing Mr. Zed (Young H.O.V., whatever you call him) in what will likely be his only appearance in this city, and getting to do so for only $30 — yes, buy me a fucking ticket, will you.
(Note: this is definitely the Edmonton concert because I remember him fucking up a line in “Death of Auto-Tune”. Unless he does what he does at 0:41 in every city.)
Previous Entries:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
4) FrostBoard
It’s amazing what a little programming ingenuity will do. There have been several instances in the Gateway office when I have needed a certain sound effect to complete a moment — like, the Price is Right loss horn, for example. Enter Lucas Wagner.
Seeing that this was hindering not only the way we make newspapers, but our ability to live fulfilling lives, he stepped in and created this wonderful machine. There have been several iterations with different sound effects added, and there will be more to come in 2010.
(Also, yes, it says “nigga” on there. Because Lil’ Jon said it first. Grow up.)
Previous Entries:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
8) Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
3) Mason Rack Band
Earlier this year, I packed into a van with my friends Sean and Dan on a random Saturday night to go watch our good friend Joel “Thunderfoot” Purkess perform with his latest musical outfit, the Mason Rack Band (a blues rock threesome headed up by raspy Australian Mason Rack). We drove up to a shady neighborhood pub in Morinville called Rednex, where we were greeted by barflies, truckers, and a small contingent of Mason Rack superfans. Nevertheless, the show was absolutely fantastic.
This particular video (taken at Lydia’s in Saskatoon) features the handsome beast that is Mr. Purkess doing what he does best — whaling on a drum kit. Without having actually studied the technical side of any professional drummers, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I consider Joel to be world class at what he does. Honestly.
While you’re here, you should check out this video as well from the Kitchener Blues Festival — they’ve opened with this song on their most recent Canadian tour.
Also, if you’re the hot bargirl from Rednex and happen to be reading this, would you be able to get in contact with me? I’d like to see you naked sometime. Thanks.
Previous Entries:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
8) Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No
6) Napkin Holder’s Daft Punk Piano Medley
5) Jay-Z(ed) in Edmonton, October 13
4) FrostBoard
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
2) GO Magazine
I am an adonis, aren’t I?
Okay, so from here on out, my top-nine of ‘09 list is pretty much going to be completely self-serving. First on the docket, we have this fine piece of ass work.
This was the cover photo from the Gateway’s second semester joke issue (wherein we parody some publication other than our own). To answer your question: yes, I am completely naked in this photo. No boxers/briefs/boxer briefs were Photoshopped out. That is all me right there.
It was an intricate process to make sure that no one caught sight of my johnson, and there was only one person I trusted to be in the room after I carefully positioned myself — the man who took the photo, Pete Yee. Hats off to you, Pete.
Life is temporary. But sideass is forever.
Previous Entries:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
8) Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No
6) Napkin Holder’s Daft Punk Piano Medley
5) Jay-Z(ed) in Edmonton, October 13
4) FrostBoard
TOP-NINE THINGS OF 2009:
1) The NASH 71 Dance-Off (aka. “The Slap Heard ‘Round Saskatoon”)
I don’t imagine that anyone reading this hasn’t already heard this story, so I’ll skip the entire re-telling and focus on the key points.
Every year at NASH (the big national conference for us student journalist types), there is to be a dance-off between the Gateway and the Ubyssey as mandated by Canadian University Press bylaws. I can sort-of pop, and I can sort-of lock — enough to make it resemble dancing. During a one-vs-one tiebreaker round to determine a winner, I did a glide (that’s with your feet) over to the Ubyssey’s side of the floor, did a wave (that’s with your arms) and turned that into a slap on the face of Ricardo Bartolon (that’s just straight-up cold). The result was an impromptu ticker-tape parade on the dance floor.
Later on that night, after a few brews, I remember saying to conference coordinator Chuck Hamilton, “Thank you for allowing me the proper venue in which to slap Ricardo Montalban!” (Strangely enough, the actual Ricardo Montalban passed away at some point during that weekend. Too soon?)
Credit on the photos goes to Gerald Deo for the victory shot (cameo points to Lucas Wagner, Paul Blinov, and Mike Kendrick), and Ishmael Daro for the closest capture of the actual moment (note the look of disbelief on Ricardo’s face, and the guy in the white suit cheering on the very left).
Happy New Year, folks, and here’s to 2010!
The Complete List of Losers:
9) Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me
8) Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No
6) Napkin Holder’s Daft Punk Piano Medley
5) Jay-Z(ed) in Edmonton, October 13
4) FrostBoard
2) GO Magazine
